A Coaching Lesson From Bridgerton Movie

Bridgeton

Overview

For those who know me, you will know how much I love watching movies.
I usually try to get some insights from the movies I watched and try to find if there’s anything that I can relate with what I do and what I face.

I wrote a quote from Enola Holmes movie in Thrive in Men’s World post.
This time I want to write about a lesson I got from Bridgerton Movie in Netflix.
I found an interesting mindset shared there that I can relate to Scrum Mastery as well as a parent, leader or a coach.

About The Movie

Bridgeton Movie in Netflix

Taken from Wikipedia, Bridgerton is an American streaming television period drama series created by Chris Van Dusen and produced by Shonda Rhimes.
It is based on Julia Quinn’s novels set in the competitive world of Regency era London’s ton during the season, when debutantes are presented at court.

In this movie, there’s a family named The Bridgerton that has 8 children, 4 men and 4 women.
The older daughter (Daphne) is looking for a husband.
She met a Duke named Simon Basset – The Duke of Hastings.

Duke of Hastings had a bitter childhood. Rejected by his father because he was not a perfect boy.
During his childhood, he was raised by his godmother, named Lady Danbury.

Because of his bitter childhood, Duke of Hastings refused to get married and have child.
He was still in his childhood trauma and he meant to stop the continuity of Hastings Clan as a revenge to his late father.
He even came to his father just before he died just to whisper in his ear that the Hastings Clan will end with him.

The Role Of A Coach

One actor that actually caught my attention is Lady Danbury.
She played a very good role model as a coach (though in the link I shared above said mentor).

She was always there for the Duke and giving him advices but she always let the Duke decide on what is good for him.

She reminded the Duke on what he should grateful of, on what he should let go, on the value waits for him for doing some things and what he will loose if he’s not.
But still, she never forced the Duke to do what she told.

There was a scene where Daphne, the wife of Duke Of Hastings, got so confused why his husband is so reluctant of having heirs.
She then tried to search for reasons and found a stack of letters that Simon wrote to his father when he was a child.
Lady Danbury found her reading those letter and basically just leave the Duchess alone.
But Daphne hold her with a statement: “You helped him overcome his impediment.”

Lady Danbury’s response was so wise
“I merely showed him what he was capable of all along. And if he needed some encouragement, a push from time to time, that was something I was happy to provide. But at the end of the day, the duke’s triumph was his and his alone.”

The screens of conversation between Daphne and Lady Danbury

The Role Of A Coach

Well basically the word impediment caught my intention, since this word is so familiar in Scrum 🙂
After hearing to Lady Danbury’s response, I can relate it with how we, as Scrum Master, Leader, Coach or Mentor should help our team or coachee.

A Coach will always believe that her coachee has some potentials in himself. The coach will always try to bring those potentials realized by the coachee so he can move forward and achieving his goals.

A Coach never try to forced her agenda, she influences it.
She will try to bring the answers / solutions from the coachee himself.
She believed that if the answer / solutions come from inside, it will have bigger impact.

A Coach will always believe that the coachee can be better.
Even when sometime it the coachee not believe that he can.

A Coach might sometime not available (or purposely ?), but the coachee knows that the coach is always there when he needed her. Someone he can rely on.

A Coach listens! Actively listens!
And sometime just keep silent, with purpose of course, to let the silence reveals the answers from the coachee himself.

A Coach observes! Some people call this Actively Doing Nothing

A Coach is patience. But that doesn’t mean that she cannot show her disappointment. She ensure that her disappointment is conveyed clearly with the respected way.
When you watch the movie, you will understand.

When I tried to think of it deeper, I can also relate this mindset with raising a child.
I try to implement those in my parenting activities.
How to make my children ready for the world even from their young age.
Note that I have 2 daughters – 14 and 9 years old.
With the younger daughter I started this earlier, maybe when she was still in her kindergarten age.

Is it easy?
No! It’s even harder with your kids 😀
Raise hand if you have kids and you think that you’re a wonderful coach outside home hahaha.
But it’s doable!

Closure

Sometime, a relaxing activities like watching movie can also be a source of learning.
Even watching your surroundings, go to market, drinking coffee, reading books, listening to music can also bring something to improve yourself.

After watching the movie and try to relate it with my role in my family and in the workplace, I started to retrospect myself whether I am a good coach / leader / scrum master or not.

I tried to see what I can do better to bring out the best out of my kids, my team and my coachees.

You don’t need to copy 100% person on how others do.
You have your own condition as a coach.

The most important thing is, a question to your self: “Has my coachee reveal the best of himself yet?”

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